Family Feud

nmsabow
Nov 25, 2022
4 min read

This live blog will venture into an immersive experience inside a family vacation. Time with family is something to look forward to, but far too often, going back to the roots can be a hard time for many. This is a perfect time to cover such a topic, with the holiday season quickly approaching us. Not only can the Church cause hurt, but hurt can come from anybody. Learning how to overcome this hurt is the first priority, and this live event will show the complications and resolutions this entails in real life. Obstacles such as hurt, offense, and hate and conflict are all present in this family, like in most, and this blog will explore what that can look like, and

what the bible has to say about it.

This live event will be covering my family vacation to Florida over the Thanksgiving holiday. I am here with my mom, sister, and brother. This is an interesting story to cover due to high stress factors, possible fights, drama, and tension. The main reason for the trip is to see my 90 year old grandpa, who is in the hospital due to a heart condition. Will this remain the center of attention throughout the visit? Or will uprooted family issues burn it up in flames. We will have to see. The major theme parks such as Universal studios, and Disney World are on the agenda for the second half of the trip, if it can survive that long. The infamous Uncle Bob will also be visiting, and will come into contact with my family for the first time in about 15 years. The family dynamic, broken and dysfunctional, will be put to the test when adult children are forced to deal with each other.

It is day 5 of the family vacation, and the bombs have exploded, and what remains is being gathered.

Deep rooted childhood hurt and bitterness towards my mom holds tightly to my sister's spirit, even in her adulthood. The overflow of hatred releases from her lips disguised in innocent words, creating an overcast of tension for all to feel. This hatred extended to my uncle Bob, who was unaware of the blunt anger that would hit him as soon as he walked into the hospital room. The deep rooted uneasiness blinds her from its ways, and seems to have a mind of its own. The fiasco was intense, and led to some serious negativity that clouded my spirit.

Many times, I had to sneak away to fill myself with the word, to prevent judgment and anger towards my family from controlling my thoughts. This proved to be very effective, because later when problems had to be addressed, the scripture spoke life. My Grandpa was discharged from the hospital, and is looking like he will regain his strength, slowly but steadily. During the 5th day of the vacation the tension and hostility could no longer be ignored.There was a four hour conversation with my family, with my brother as the mediator, this evening. This conversation included an open discussion about feelings and hurt, and I hope it will prove to be helpful for the future of the family going forward. Sometimes, deep conversations, maybe multiple, are needed in order to get others to understand your feelings. Here are some personal takeaways and things to consider when trying to overcome conflict, hurt, and offense.

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” (James 1:19 NLT)

When someone brings their worries and concerns to you about something you may have done or said, do not dismiss their feelings based on your opinions. Feelings should be recognized and appreciated. Before speaking, consider this question. Is this building them up, or tearing them down? This is such a good way to filter your patterns of speech and refine any negativity. Also, what is the goal, or the heart posture, behind your words. Is it to be right? Or is it to resolve the problem. Also, when you say something, how does it make the other person feel? When someone tells you how what you said affected them, even though you may not have meant it that way or do not see it that way, do not dismiss their feelings based on your opinions. Feelings should be given a safe space, because without open communication, relationships will die.

Proverbs 18:21 puts it this way:

“The tongue has the power of life and death. "

We can either build someone up or tear them down

Do not gossip about one another. If you have a problem, take it directly to that person. Also, if one comes to you and tries to gossip, be comforting and understanding, but do not participate in the slander. Seeking wise counsel is different than gossiping, and is beneficial for conflict. The book of Proverbs is full of wisdom on how to handle conflict, and the power of words. Ponder on these bible scriptures, and be encouraged when navigating hurt and resolution.

"Whoever conceals hatred with

lying lips and spreads slander is a fool. "

(Proverbs 10:18 NIV)

Proverbs of Solomon 10:11

“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up conflict but love covers over all wrongs”

"Humility

in the Bible: - Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.“ Proverbs 12:25 NIV